$1,000 pizza?

Does America really need a thousand-dollar pizza?

Probably not, but we've got one anyway. Not to mention a thousand-dollar omelet. There's even a thousand-dollar chocolate sundae.

The thought of this kind of wretched excess tends to turn our stomachs, but we have to admit that it also piques our interest.

A slice of the $1,000pizza.

So we found a guide to this world of tasteless extremes: a 27-year-old, too-smart-for-his-age bon vivant named Jeremy Abelson. He's the founder of an online newsletter, "Pocket Change," which showcases the most expensive and outrageous consumption in New York and Los Angeles.

"To expose... the ludicrous elements of luxury, I think, is gratifying for audiences that don't spend that much money," Abelson said. "I think that people read the pages of ‘US Weekly' with a little bit of disgust. They're entertained, but they're also disgusted a little bit."

We asked him to show us the most disgusting spending New York City has to offer in an outrageous tour of the city — not just prohibitively expensive, but absurdly so. A tour that, if we were actually paying for it, would cost in excess of a million dollars for one day. (Note that People of the Web adheres to strict journalistic ethics: we don't accept freebies. We did not partake in any of the high ticket consumables presented in this piece.)

Jeremy Abelson is the founder of the online newsletter Pocket Change.

It all began over breakfast at Norma's in Le Parker Meridien Hotel in midtown — home of the thousand-dollar omelet, although it actually goes by the name "zillion-dollar frittata."

The omelet is a rich concoction of eggs, lobster, Yukon Gold potatoes and Iranian Sevruga caviar that goes for about $700 a pound. The hotel's public relations department told us the thousand-dollar plate has been sold at least 10 times. They also sell a $100 version (with less caviar) at the rate of two a month.

After the omelet, we caught a regular old NYC taxi to our next stop — a taxi that someone had the audacity to puke in the night before — but that was the end of our slumming for the day. After that it was a parade of $200,000 Ferraris, $450,000 yachts, $20 million apartments on Columbus Circle with floor-to-ceiling views of the city in every direction and a consultation with matchmaker Janis Spindel, who says for half-a million dollars all you have to do is draw a picture of your dream woman and she will make her appear.

Call us cynical, but if you have $500,000 to spend on a matchmaker, you can probably make lots of dream women appear — as well as a few nightmares.

But the cars, the yachts and the high-end apartments aren't what make us cluck our tongues in disapproving disbelief. It's the small stuff — stuff like thousand-dollar omelets, pizzas and ice cream sundaes.

Janis Spindel will set you up with the person of your dreams. But it will cost you as much as $500,000.

Of course, the motivation behind the pricing is to get the press — like us — to write about it.

Then, if you top it with caviar, they will come, and pay for it.

Take Nino's Bellissima Pizza, where a cool thousand can get you a 12-inch, thin-crusted pie layered with crème fraiche and topped with lobster tail and four different types of caviar. As with the omelet, it's the fish eggs that turn a ten dollar pizza into a wallet-busting event. Nino's owner, Nino Selimaj, said that after spreading $750 worth of caviar, he's left with a measly $250 profit.

"Delicioso," said Abelson as he sampled the work. "I think that was a $33 bite."

We took Jeremy's leftover slices out for some second opinions.

A Domino's delivery guy gave the pie the thumb's down. "Where's the garbage?" he asked, after tasting the pizza.

But Anthony, a downtown vendor, said he thought it was worth every penny.

An alter ego
All of the items featured on Pocket Change are reviewed by Abelson's fictional alter ego, a trust fund windbag named Richard Nouveau, who both promotes and lampoons the so-called "good life" by guiltlessly indulging in it.

The fictional character Richard Nouveau serves as the editorial voice of the Pocket Change site.

"He represents New York luxury to us," says Abelson.

This fictional creation may reflect Abelson's doubts about the value of what he is doing. His own mother has questioned whether this is the best use of his talents. After seeing one of his projects win widespread news coverage, she asked him why he wasn't out saving Darfur instead.

So why isn't he doing something more socially relevant?

"I think the nature of what we cover, being that we are covering blatant materialism, leads people to question my morality," he said. "But on a personal level, I'm very involved and I am very charitable. But I hear what you're saying. We have a very visible vehicle that we are using — although we're mocking it — to broadcast materialism."

Sweet finish
Blatant materialism or not, every million dollar day should have a few sweet notes. Ours was topped with, as you might have guessed, caviar — this time, caviar infused with passion fruit and Armagnac. It's the only dessert caviar in the world.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the Golden Opulence Ice Cream Sundae, served by Manhattan restaurant Serendipity, is the most expensive sundae in the world.

Here's why: according to the restaurant, the chocolate is made with chuao cacao beans from Venezuela, where they only harvest 400 kilos a year. The vanilla ice cream is infused with Madagascar vanilla. And the sundae is covered in real gold leaf.

Serendipity's $1,000 sundae is served with gold spoons.

"Gold doesn't have flavor," said our waiter, "but it does have texture. It absolutely won't hurt you. In fact, some people think ingesting gold is good for you."

"I am one of those people who do think that ingesting gold is very good for you," Abelson quipped.

Of course, you can't eat a sundae like this with a plastic spoon. It's served in Baccarat crystal and eaten with a golden spoon. When you're done, you get to walk out with the bowl but the spoon stays put.

Pocket Change intern Sara Bradshaw looked like she would burst into tears when she tasted the sundae. "Wow. It's so good."

"I'm in love, I'm obsessed," said Abelson.

An ice cream sundae that costs more than a plane ticket to London could be a fleeting romance.

By the end of the tour, we had tipped the scales at $1,234,713 for a day of extreme overindulgence. Although we didn't actually shell out the cash, it does give you pause about just how much damage you can do with more money than brains.

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Million-Dollar Links

- $1,000 Pizza
- $1,000 Omelet
- $1,000 Sundae
- $500,000 Matchmaker
- Luxury Car Rentals
- Most-expensive apartment per square foot
- Exclusive yacht club
- $25,000 golf swing
- $213 for a shot of whiskey

By KEVIN SITES